A Permanent Reminder

We likely all have them--a scar, an injury, a story of some sort-- a permanent reminder of a moment in time we can't undo.  I have a few reminders--a scar on my chin, a scar on my knee, and recently a finger that's partly numb due to a puncture wound--not as bad as the guy's above though :) 

These scars, injuries and stories are a part of our history.  In a world where we unfriend and delete others from our lives with a click, these permanent reminders are good reminders that we are human,--not invincible, and that we come from somewhere.  They remind us we cannot delete the unpleasant moments of life.

I awoke this morning to memories of old friends that I had failed.   I was not a true friend to them.  I look back and know that I harbored anger and resentment but I couldn't articulate it at the time.   In fact it was much later that I understood it.   Though I didn't feel they would recieve my thoughts at the time and that it was likely why I turned my back on them, it was not right to do so and I have harbored regret.   That regret is also a kind of permanent mark but on the soul, not the body.

God is a loving, merciful God, the balm of Gilead, the patient shepherd.... Though forgiven, he allows us to feel the sting of regret as a reminder to stay on the good path.   I think of David and his sin with Bathsheba--David felt that regret and the separation from God and because it was so awful he never wanted to experience it again.    A bad moment in time with long-term consequences.   I believe our own regret is a powerful burden to bear.

So, we can wallow in regret or we can ask forgiveness and get on with gettin' on.  Sometimes forgiving ourselves is the harder task.   I think the best thing to do is to pay it forward in some way--tell the story so that others can benefit from your mistakes--that would be much more creative than wallowing, wouldn't it?  Regret and sadness aren't the most creative choices one could make--And for all the creative types reading this you know you're far too creative to choose it!  So get creatifve--find a new way to deal with your regrets, disappointments and self-loathing--how could you benefit others (and yourself) by choosing differently?

Have a creative day!

Susan

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